So, you made your way through high school. You have done your SAT. You survived through all the tortuous paperwork. And against the odds, despite financial, educational, and logistical issues, you made it. Yes indeed, you made it despite even this summer’s “mini” war which scared away half of the international students. Now, finally, you belong to the Harvard of the Middle East (albeit the emphasis is on Middle East rather than Harvard). You start identifying yourself with this prestigious academic institution; you are finally among an elite group who call themselves AUBites.

Yes, the semester has just started and the courses are still fairly easy. You look forward to making more friends. Part of you thinks of the university as an extension to the best thing high school had to offer (i.e. the prom), and you look forward to some wild parties. And the best thing of all, you don’t have to wake up at seven in the morning every single day.

But there is an itch that keeps on bothering you. You ask for directions to Nicely 500 or West Hall and they look at you with a not-so-subtle smile and they say everything a bit more slowly and a tad bit louder. Oh, that’s just in case you don’t understand… poor little child.

Some professors are asking you to create a WebCT account. You procrastinate and start thinking of the good-old-days when everything was done using paper and pencil. There are other things that vex you but you know you will get the hang of them… eventually. But you want more. You want now. You belong to the culture of microwaves and instant coffee.

Just like in high school when you were the first to know about the new bar in Gemmayzeh that was raising all the rage, or to hear the juicy gossip about the foreign language teacher, you want to be up-to-date. You want to be the ladies man, man’s man, man about town (I am not being sexist, switch gender if necessary… or if preferred). In short, you want to be among the people “in the know.”

If you are reading this and of course you are, then you have just become one step ahead of the next guy. And if anyone tells you stereotyping is a bit black and white, tell them a little story. Tell them about that guy blessed with kaleidoscopic vision. He didn’t see better than everyone else; he just ended up very dizzy. By now, the teacher is catching on that you are reading Outlook instead of paying attention. Adios.